Right Kind Of Wrong

After my mother changes the bright pink sheets to normal whites one and then made herself a cup of hot chocolate she was finally ready to sleep. I left her moaning about Jason and his choice of wife's and went back to Ashley, who I hoped was fast asleep.

'Did you tuck her in?.............' Or not, and sarcasm doesn't become her.

'She going to sleep..........' I climb into my side of the bed and try to ignore her.

'Kelly..........'

'Sleep Ashley......'

'Kelly.......'She's not going to sleep.

'Night Ash........'I turn away from her and hope she takes the hint.

'Who's Laura?..........' How does she know Laura? I turn onto my back and she's reading Carrie's diary.

'Ash.......'God she can't leave anything alone.

'Who is she........and who's Sonny Evans?...........and why don't I know these people........' She thinks the diary's mine.

'Just a few friends I know........'That's right Kelly act cool and stop talking to yourself in the third person.

'When you were sixteen?.......'

'Yep.......'I take the diary from her hand and try to remain cool.

'I knew you when you were sixteen........I've spent every day with you since we were twelve........what does that tell you?........' That we spend way to much time together.

'That I'm lying and the diary isn't mine..........'

'It's Carrie's isn't it...........'

'No.........' Yes.

So......'She grabs the book from my hand. 'It isn't Carrie that's all over someone called Laura on page 112?.............' Give me that.

'Give me that.......and take that smirk off your face......'God she's so annoying.

'Relax......I only read the first few lines..........' Carrie's going to kill me.

'She's going to kill me........' And never talk to me again, and I really want to know what's on page 112.

'Our little secret............' She rolls away from me and turns out the light.

'Night Ash........'

'Page 112...........'

….......................................

Oh it takes me about three seconds after hearing light snores coming from Ashley before I'm out the bed and racing towards the bathroom with Carrie's diary in my hand.

22nd April 1999

It happened again. One minute I'm laying pretending to be asleep and the next she's got her hand on my thigh. I've never felt anything like it, I mean I've imagined what it feels like but to have someone actually touching me is so much more than I could ever think up. The night before she stopped at my breasts. I'm blushing even writing this. I don't know how I managed to let her touch me without making a complete fool of myself. Well she stopped there, didn't say anything just stopped and went to sleep but last night she went further, she kissed me. On my lips and neck. She kept looking into my eyes just before she kissed me. I haven't felt anything like it, it was like my lips we're meant just for her. And even when she was kissing me not once did it feel weird. When James kissed me if always felt wrong, she felt so right. I think we must have kissed for over an hour and when she stopped she held me, I feel asleep in her arms. This morning when I woke up she was laying awake watching me. She's in the shower now and I all I can think is that I love her. It doesn't matter that she's a girl, I love her.

She may have wrote this five year ago but all I want to do right now is hug her, this need and want felt at the moment she wrote that was taken away from her only days later and she's still feeling the pain now. I just have this over powering need of wanting to give her that feeling again, to make her see that maybe those feels she felt she can get back again. I pull out my phone just needing to say something to her.

(I wish I knew you when you were Sixteen)

I really do, if I had known her she wouldn't have been made for feel most of the hurt she felt.

(If you did you would know not to wake me this early in the morning.)

Oh crap it's till only 6am. I really need to sleep.