How We Stay Here (or Waiting)
folder
Singers/Bands/Musicians › Green Day
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
1,622
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Singers/Bands/Musicians › Green Day
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
1,622
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Green Day. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part Three: You Make Me Want to Cry, Drink, and Spontaneously Combust
How We Stay Here (or Waiting)
Part Three: You Make Me Want to Cry, Drink, and Spontaneously Combust
Ring out under the midnight hour
* Billie’s POV *
I took Joey to school. Then an hour later I took Jakob to preschool. Then I went home and waited. I knew Mike would show up, I just didn’t know when. I was slowly started to get scared as I watched the hands on the clock slowly twist around, contorting themselves. I just wish they would break off.
Finally at two, when I was starting to doze off on the couch, the door opened. Mike shut it quietly then turned and saw me.
We stare at each other for a moment, neither of us saying anything. Then he turns away, moving toward the stairs.
“Mike . . .”
He hesitates for a moment before continuing up to our bedroom. I stand up, wobbling slightly at my legs, which had fallen asleep. I trip twice before I finally managed to make it up the stairs, rubbing at my elbow. I try to turn the knob, but he’d locked it.
“Mike!” I pound on the door – desperate, angry, and nearly in tears. “Open the fucking door!”
“Billie, don’t make this harder than it already is.” he says.
I freeze momentarily. “Make . . . make what harder than it already is?” I choke out.
I hear footsteps and the door opens slowly. Mike’s looking at me with pure exhaustion written all over his face. “I’m just getting some clothes and then I’ll be out of here, all right?”
“No.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “I don’t want you to go. I’m sorry. Don’t go.” I reach for his hand, but he just shakes his head and steps back into the room, throwing the clothes on the bed into a bag.
“We both need the space, Billie.”
“I don’t need any space! I need you!” I grab his arm before he can pull it away. “Let’s just talk about it. We’ll work it out. Please, Mike?”
“No. We won’t.” Mike pulls away from me and grabs his bag of clothes, sighing. “Look, Billie Joe. I can’t deal with this right now, okay? I can’t . . . I can’t do this with you.”
“But . . . I love you.” I whisper as he walks toward the door, sinking onto the bed.
“I know.” he says softly before he walks out.
* Mike’s POV *
I don’t want to think about how Billie’s tracing his fingers across my pillow right now, then pulling it into his arms, then burying his face in it and sobbing.
I stomp on the gas pedal and tear along the freeway back to the hotel, getting on the elevator, going to be room, throwing my bag of clothes at the wall, and ordering more alcohol than any three people should consume.
Because that’s how much alcohol it takes to forget Billie Joe. Even if it’s just for a minute.
It’s never been easy. When we were kids, that night when he was married. First it was supposed to be something we forgot. Then, after we finally became what we were meant to, it was all a secret.
Now . . . it’s just lies. Mostly me lying to myself.
I open another bottle of beer and close my eyes, wiping at my suddenly moist cheeks.
If it’s this hard . . . is it really meant to be? Should love rip your heart out every day?
* Billie’s POV *
Joey doesn’t ask. He just glances at the empty seat next to me and lowers his eyes, opening the back door and sitting next to his brother. Jakob’s uncharacteristically silent as well.
“Do you guys . . . want to get some ice cream or something?” I ask, making a small attempt at normalcy and conversation.
Joey shakes his head and Jakob looks at me with sad brown eyes. “I want Mike.”
Me too, kid.
Joey clamps his hand over his brother’s mouth. “Shut up.” he hisses.
“It’s fine.” I say, turning on the air conditioning. “No one’s going to spontaneously combust if Jakob says Mike’s name.”
Joey lets his arms fall into his lap and turns to stare moodily out the window. Jakob pulls his feet onto the seat and plays with his shoelaces. I fight tears the entire way home.
Part Three: You Make Me Want to Cry, Drink, and Spontaneously Combust
Ring out under the midnight hour
* Billie’s POV *
I took Joey to school. Then an hour later I took Jakob to preschool. Then I went home and waited. I knew Mike would show up, I just didn’t know when. I was slowly started to get scared as I watched the hands on the clock slowly twist around, contorting themselves. I just wish they would break off.
Finally at two, when I was starting to doze off on the couch, the door opened. Mike shut it quietly then turned and saw me.
We stare at each other for a moment, neither of us saying anything. Then he turns away, moving toward the stairs.
“Mike . . .”
He hesitates for a moment before continuing up to our bedroom. I stand up, wobbling slightly at my legs, which had fallen asleep. I trip twice before I finally managed to make it up the stairs, rubbing at my elbow. I try to turn the knob, but he’d locked it.
“Mike!” I pound on the door – desperate, angry, and nearly in tears. “Open the fucking door!”
“Billie, don’t make this harder than it already is.” he says.
I freeze momentarily. “Make . . . make what harder than it already is?” I choke out.
I hear footsteps and the door opens slowly. Mike’s looking at me with pure exhaustion written all over his face. “I’m just getting some clothes and then I’ll be out of here, all right?”
“No.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “I don’t want you to go. I’m sorry. Don’t go.” I reach for his hand, but he just shakes his head and steps back into the room, throwing the clothes on the bed into a bag.
“We both need the space, Billie.”
“I don’t need any space! I need you!” I grab his arm before he can pull it away. “Let’s just talk about it. We’ll work it out. Please, Mike?”
“No. We won’t.” Mike pulls away from me and grabs his bag of clothes, sighing. “Look, Billie Joe. I can’t deal with this right now, okay? I can’t . . . I can’t do this with you.”
“But . . . I love you.” I whisper as he walks toward the door, sinking onto the bed.
“I know.” he says softly before he walks out.
* Mike’s POV *
I don’t want to think about how Billie’s tracing his fingers across my pillow right now, then pulling it into his arms, then burying his face in it and sobbing.
I stomp on the gas pedal and tear along the freeway back to the hotel, getting on the elevator, going to be room, throwing my bag of clothes at the wall, and ordering more alcohol than any three people should consume.
Because that’s how much alcohol it takes to forget Billie Joe. Even if it’s just for a minute.
It’s never been easy. When we were kids, that night when he was married. First it was supposed to be something we forgot. Then, after we finally became what we were meant to, it was all a secret.
Now . . . it’s just lies. Mostly me lying to myself.
I open another bottle of beer and close my eyes, wiping at my suddenly moist cheeks.
If it’s this hard . . . is it really meant to be? Should love rip your heart out every day?
* Billie’s POV *
Joey doesn’t ask. He just glances at the empty seat next to me and lowers his eyes, opening the back door and sitting next to his brother. Jakob’s uncharacteristically silent as well.
“Do you guys . . . want to get some ice cream or something?” I ask, making a small attempt at normalcy and conversation.
Joey shakes his head and Jakob looks at me with sad brown eyes. “I want Mike.”
Me too, kid.
Joey clamps his hand over his brother’s mouth. “Shut up.” he hisses.
“It’s fine.” I say, turning on the air conditioning. “No one’s going to spontaneously combust if Jakob says Mike’s name.”
Joey lets his arms fall into his lap and turns to stare moodily out the window. Jakob pulls his feet onto the seat and plays with his shoelaces. I fight tears the entire way home.