Right Kind Of Wrong

15th May 1999

They finally let me out my room long enough to leave the house and see Laura. I wish they hadn't bothered now. She wouldn't even talk to me. Mom was out I told Dad I needed to buy tampons, one mention of the word and he was throwing pushing me towards the car, trying his best not to look horrified. While he was waiting in the car I by passed the drug store and went to see Laura at work. She hates me, I tried to talk to her about what happened but she told me to forget it. She was so cold, I don't know what I'm going to do now. The whole twenty-three days I was locked away im my room while my mother pretended to everyone I was ill, I had been counting on Laura, If she would just support me I know my parents couldn't get away with this. But she hates me, they all hate me now. I don't know what I did wrong, I only fell in love.

I can feel Ashley looking at me with that look of confusion she gets when something is bothering her. She's like a kitten that can't work out why the dog hates her.

'Yes?........' Now she's smirking, she's had a funny thought.

'You spent less time pouring over the four Twilight books.......Something interesting?.............' Something you'll never know.

'Where's Mom?.............'That's right Kelly distract her.

'Airport picking up Jason and his wife............' I try not to look disgusted by the thought of my new sister in law but Ashley catches me. 'I know but Jeanne says we have to play fair.........'

'Play fair?...........'This is never good.

'Apparently you Clarkson kids never do anything unless you really want to..............your mother thinks if she is extra nice to the ex stripper your brother will get bored of it and go back to dating real girls................' She sits back in her chair and smirks.

'Your like a bond villain.............'

'Understanding your little crush yet?...............' So much for distracting.

'I don't need her diary to understand her...........' I do.

'You could rent her life story and still not understand this one...........I don't think she plays by your rules...............' Now she's talking in code.

'What the hell are you talking about,..........'

'Your all up front and blunt............'She laughs and I know it's cause she rhymed. She can be so four year old when she wants to be. 'And she's all about keeping face and doing what people want her to do........' Best friends got a point.

'You don't know what your talking about...............'She might have a point but she doesn't need to know that.

'I know she's gay.....and because Mommy and Daddy caught her making out with cute Laura when she was sixteen it scared her so much she's so far back in the closet she's playing with the lion and the witch.............'She stands up all proud with herself cause she solved something, something I already knew.

'Your not discovering anything new...........'Smart ass.

'I know she'll get bored with the Lion and the witch if you give her something more entertaining to do..........You should try opening the closet door for her................'What is her fascination with closets all of a sudden. 'You still have your key right?.........' And back to being a bitch.

'I am out to the people that's important..........' And you. 'And I don't think Carrie really wants to come out of anything........and I don't think she wants to relive any phases she went through years ago.........'

'Page 203 says she does..............' The front door bangs and my mother comes through giggling and laughing with her new best friend. My eyes catch Jason's and I know my mother's little plan might just work.

….................................................

'So I should be back in three days..........'

'Mmmm..........' 198....199.....

'Maybe we could get something to eat...........'

'Hmmm.......' 200....201...

'I could rob a bank and we could go on the run...................'

'Great......'202.

'And strip naked on the live show...........' 203. Hello?

'I'm sorry what?............'I look at the phone confused as I hear Carrie giggle into the other end.

'Your not listening to me...............'

'I am so.........'

22nd July 1999

Dr Chapman is an ass..........

'And what am I saying..........'

How his cure is going to work I don't..........

'Kelly?........' She singings my name and I'm pulled from the diary in front of me.

'What....sorry....i was......'

'Busy?.......'

I've never felt so horny in my whole life, is that even normal...........

'Kelly....what are you doing?.........'

I just need someone to, I can;t even say the words but when I say someone I mean her. I need Laura......

'Kelly.......' I flinch hearing her voice.

I don't think this cure thing is ever going to work,Not with the thoughts that are running through my head right now.......Pretending to be straight will have to do for now.

'Kelly I will hang up..........' She barks into the phone