Baby Can I Hold You

'Ashley I think im going to throw up......Is it true...is she like this?' Kelly sat in the small downstairs bathroom as she quizzed her best friend.



'Kelly come on....no one's perfect....ok so she's had a few girlfriends...but that doesn't stop her loving you...doesnt stop her being a mother to Elle.'



'I don't know how much I can take......everything is up and down.......there is to much drama here....it's like a bad soap opera. '



'It's life Kelly....I know things are hard but just accept what's thrown at you....your strong....I know you can do it.'



'Ashley I don't know how much stronger I can be...'



'And that's why we are here.....and Carrie.....just remember everything Carrie has told you these past few month's ......you know none of that was lies.' Ashley sat on the floor next to her friend.



'I believe her.....I do....but what if she gets scared......what if some cute blonde comes along.'



'Kelly' Ashley stopped her.' Your her cute blonde......she's crazy about you...trust me......ive seen her with woman before...and I know she's so in love with you...just the way she looks at you, even when you don't know it....'



'I don't think I can sit and wait for her to leave..'



'You know what.. this is stupid...im going to get her and she can sort all this out.' Kelly put her head in her hands as Ashley left the bathroom, she knew Carrie would be in there in seconds, she just didn't know if she could face her.



Ten minutes passed before Carrie entered the small bathroom, Kelly kept her head in her hands as she waited for Carrie to talk.



'Look at me' Carrie's voice was strong. Kelly lifted her head to see her girlfriend standing over her with her hand stretched out, slipping her hand into Carrie's Kelly felt herself being pulled to her feet. 'I know you want so answers...but not here. ' Kelly allowed herself to be lead out into the front of the house and into Carrie's car.



They drove for twenty minutes, before coming to a stop outside a small house. Carrie got out first unlocking the front door before waving for Kelly to join her. Inside the house was small and neat with not a lot of furniture in it. Kelly looked around, there was nothing personable in it, it was cold and bare, like someone hadn't moved in yet.



'What's this?' she quizzed Carrie who was pouring them each a glass of water.



'My house.' Carrie sat the drink in front of Kelly before sitting at the table. 'I bought it a few weeks after buying our house.'



'why would you buy two houses in the same town.' Kelly looked around.



'I bought it so I had a place to bring back dates.' Carrie let the words sink in before continuing. 'I need to tell you the whole story but I need you to listen...really listen...and not judge me until im finished. ' Kelly nodded, she just wanted to get it over with, whatever was going to come out of Carrie's mouth, she just wanted it over with. 'I didn't believe in love at first sight until I met you.... and it's not a cheesy chat up line....the moment I saw you I was in love.....when we first talked I couldn't believe how amazing you were......Then I met Paul.....and you seemed so in love with him........Then you married him...the Elle came along and you seemed happy...if I would have known what you were going through I would have stepped in but I thought you were happy. So while you lived your life I tried to live mine.....I bought the farm house thinking it would make me grown up a little...I filled it with family things that I thought a happy family should have.......I bought dozens and dozens of photo frames and quickly realised I didn't have anyone to fill them with........I had this deep deep darkness over me...I didn't know what I was missing so looked for it....' Carrie looked up at Kelly to make sure she was still listening.



' I looked for it in every woman I met......every woman that showed some interest in me I would go after...searching for something.... and most of the time I found it...I would believe I was in love and I would jump into a relationship just for it to go sour soon after. I knew I was in love but my problem was I was in love with a married woman....so if I couldn't have her I would look for the next best thing......The blonde waitresses......cute stand ins on music sets.....anyone that looked just a little like you...Hell I even went after the ones with Texan accents, just cause she had the smallest resemblance of you. '



'So you slept with every girl you saw that reminded you of me?'



'In a way yes....because for those few hours they were in my bed I could pretend they were you......but something would always happen...they would do and say something that would spoil my little fantasy and I would have to move on to the next.'



'So what does this house mean?'



'that weekend you brought Elle up here and we went to the park.......my house felt so alive with you in it......you looked like you belonged there....everything you touched belonged to you.......so when you left I couldn't let another woman in the house......I didn't want them to spoil that perfect image you created just by being there for two days......so I bought this house.....and the girls came here.' Kelly sat back as she tried her hardest to take in everything her girlfriend had said.



'So your telling me this is where I'll find you when you want to start cheating on me?' Kelly stood up and walked over to the sink.



'No..god Kelly....the house is up for sale...it has been for the past 6 months......I'm just trying to tell you that all those woman I went looking for we're cause I couldn't have you......and even when I was with them.....it still didn't make up for not having you.'



'But what if I start boring you?'



'Kelly it's been eight years since I realised I love you........I'm not bored.........I'll never be bored...for the first time in my life I know how good I have it.......To quote someone else....why would I go out for hamburgers if I have steak at home?' Kelly couldn't help but laugh at the last part.



'Your a vegan' she commented.



'You know what I mean........why look for perfection when I know where to find it.......'



'So I have nothing to worry about?'



'Nothing'



'and if you get bored you'll tell me and we can fix it together?'



'Yes..' Carrie agreed. Kelly moved round the table putting her arms around Carrie.



'Sorry I didn't come to you first.'



'That's OK I know how good Ashley is at these things......ive been to her myself.'



'I promise to come to you in the future.'



'ok' Carrie smiled.



'Now.. lets get out of here... I don't like it here.' Carrie nodded taking her girlfriends hand and leading them out of the house, she locked the door while Kelly got back into the car. 'Give' Kelly held her hands out for the house keys' I don't want you to sell it.' Carrie looked at her oddly.



'Why?'



'We have a house a few miles away from our own........you think I'm going to sell it.'



'Why would you want it?'



'Somewhere to put the family when they stay....I can't believe you didn't think of it before.'



' I knew there was a reason I loved you so much' Carrie smiled.